The Memory Lane

Going down memory lane…

It was a cold and rainy day in B. Some of those days that make us rewind everything that came up until now. Do you have one of those days? I guess they are different for everyone. Some would lay back and begin reminiscing on a sunny day, some on a cold winter night by the window…To me – the rain, smell of the freshly cut grass and a warm brown blanket does the trick.

Who is to say what you’ll find on that lane. Maybe happy memories, maybe even the sad ones, bittersweet, sour…Anything is possible. But, somehow I believe that the memories come back to us, because we missed something important. Something that will help us overcome the obstacle that we face in the present moment, a problem that we don’t know how to solve.

So we, travel back in time, to experience everything yet again… The love, the pain… Everything. But, we’ll find it strange, because we can’t experience it in the same way. We simply can’t. We don’t have the same perception as we did back then. We see things differently. We see people in a different way. We understand better, we feel less/or more. We conclude faster and with more attention to detail. We understand that it is not about us. We are not the center of attention ,the moment is. And the moment is trying to tell us something. Something that we didn’t want to hear before.

Most of the time, the tragedies in our life aren’t so tragic after all. It’s our way of thinking that makes it seem that way. Life is flowing. It simply does that. Flows. And we give it a meaning. A happy meaning, a sad one… It’s completely up to us.

So, when we get back from the travel through memory lane, we need to remember one very important thing…

We are bigger than the moment!

πŸ™‚

The Friend

Dear Friend…

So, couple of months ago I watched the movie ‘Someone Great’ – and, basically, I Loved It. It perfectly captures that process of growing up, and that inner struggle between who you’ve been and who you’d wish to be.

It captures your inner and outer worlds, changing and collaborating through the change. The Love, the Scare, the Anger, the Excitement etc. The movie has it all. We all go through it. And that’s the amazing part. We are not alone in the struggles that the change is bringing along. It’s the ultimate test of who we truly are. Everything is transparent.

Of course, the process of getting over a breakup is not a stranger to any one of us. But, what truly touched me, and with what I genuinely connected with, is the path of a friendship through the change. I’ve had many friendships that didn’t end well and some that just naturally ‘died’. I guess I regret the most those that didn’t end great. Somehow, I believe that we all do.

I’ve learned something about a month ago. One of my dearest friends told me that he was going to move to America. And I’m not going to lie to you, in a split of a second, my brain went spinning like crazy! So many negative thoughts came to my mind and I was coming up with lots of silly excuses for why his moving away is a bad idea.

And then something happened. I didn’t say any of those things. When it was time for me to say something, somehow the focus in my head shifted from Me, to Him and his needs, wishes, and dreams. I patted him on the shoulder and such admiration and love came over me, that all I could say to him was – If that is what you believe deep down in your hearth to be your path, then I am giving you all my support and love.

Because, that moment, that decision that he made…It was for HIM. It was about HIS growth and change. And that took COURAGE. To move from Europe to America. A place where he knows no one, all alone. Just to go and make himself a person he wishes to be – that is damn brave. And I respect that.

He is my rock, my life counsel, my friend. And for all those years that he wished me love and happiness, while I was on the path of creating the person that I wished to be – now has come a time for me to be his rock, counsel and friend.

Fast forward to today – he changed his mind (hahahaha). No, he didn’t move to America. He found out that he doesn’t have to move so far away just to create the version of himself he wished to be (This was one of my negative thoughts that I wanted to tell him before, but I choose to let things unfold as they should – because that was a lesson that every one of us needs to learn on our own, that was his path towards the discovery of himself).

And the reason why I’m happy I didn’t say it before is because, let’s face it, it is rare for a young person to learn from the mistakes of other people. We like to make mistakes and learn from them on our own! Who knows, maybe he could have moved to America and made it! And my negative thoughs could have stopped that… We can never know what’s best for someone else. So, we should listen more than we reply and give out our opinions.

Believe it or not, this actually made our friendship stronger than ever! Sometimes, we just need someone who will listen and give us a positive support\
Now we are two rocks, two counsels and two friends growing stronger together. Friends are there to lighten our paths even brighter. To help us see the things when we are ready to see them. To help us love, laugh and grow stronger!
Now that I thinking about it, it looks like all that scare was actually a blessing in disguise. πŸ™‚

The Truth

What is the Truth?

The hard truth is: ‘It is hard for everyone’ – it sounds so, refreshing? That we’re not alone in this big and crazy world. And that our struggles are not in vain.

Yet, just as that feeling of relief comes, or as some would say, just as that feeling of ‘Oh, that’s how everyone has it, that’s how I’ll have it, and that’s that! Why should I change anything?’ – something follows that relief… To me, that statement is like yelling in my face: ”They’re unhappy, why should I be any different? ”

For any of you who’ve read the post ”Acceptance”, let me tell you – this is that ‘wise’ moment we’ve all been waiting for. Don’t let the widely acceptable thing turn out to be acceptable to you, just because it is acceptable for everyone else! You don’t have to live in misery!

As my mentor would say: ”How dare you consciously make a decision to let your life be miserable? Who are you to do such a terrible thing to yourself?”

Dear friends, please, when you see yourself walking the wrong path…Rebel! Rebel to that dying need to accept! Sometimes, we need to make ourselves do the right thing.

As I’ve figured out, there is no ‘Ideal situation’, nor an ‘Ideal way to figure what’s the right path’. But I strongly believe that every single one of us has that basic ‘Right and Wrong’ scale, build up in our mind, and that helps us weight the standards.

I strongly believe that we all know what’s right! πŸ™‚

So, Rebel! Trust me, there is liberation in that as well! πŸ™‚ And isn’t that also refreshing?

Thank you! ❀

I also believe that we’re all different people, with different life experiences – so, as such I would really like to hear your advice to me (and the rest of the community). The idea of this blog is that everyone can be a teacher, and a student. To turn this little space on the internet into a Growing Community. So, what would your advice be on this matter?

Who knows, maybe some (or all) of your comments expand my (or someone else‘s) way of thinking. πŸ™‚ Everything is possible – shall we agree that this, is acceptable! πŸ˜€